Where Else Could I Go?
by LisAlice5472
Summary: This is a Kadaj X Me fanfic. Touching. Lovingly. With lost of suspense and romantic words. Take a look, will you? Kadaj has to leave one night for duty calls him. And when he comes back home...
1. Where Else Could I Go

**Where Else Could I Go?**

**~1~**

* * *

From the doorway I threw myself into his welcoming arms, which entwisted behind my back. They hold me close. Softly. Eagerly. With my head buried into his chest, my words were muffled.

"Do you really have to go? Kadaj, do you?"

He didn't say anything, but as his chin was pressed on my hair, I could feel him nod. Trying to hold back my tears, I squeezed his waist.

"But I'll be back. I promise." he said in his delicate voice, "I'll be back before you know it."

He released me and put his hands on my shoulders. His eyes opened wide, inspecting mine. The look on his face was uncertain. Painful. Just like mine. I didn't have the strength to remain lost in his eyes. It's something typical to me. I never looked people in the eyes, only for several seconds. So my head fell down.

"What if something happens to you?" I whimpered, "What if you get hurt?"

My fist automatically raised to cover my parted lips. The thought itself had sent chills down my spine. I would have killed myself if I were to lose Kadaj. My Kadaj… who held half of my heart.

His lips formed a beautiful smile, one that I was used with, but now, I swear it, he looked as charming as never! How was I supposed to live without him? With a hand he patted my hair and with the other one he brushed my cheek.

"I'll take care. Then I'll be all yours."

I frowned slightly.

"You are mine already…"

Words became futile at that moment. My hands encircled his neck as I pulled him into a sweet, tiny kiss. He smiled before our lips met. Shortly after, I felt the world had already set right. There was no more grief. People cared about each other and forgot everything about bullies. How could I not feel that as the kiss was deepening? Kadaj's head tilted to left. I followed his lead. Our lips were slowly discovering each other and there I pressed myself even more into him, as to merge with him. We already were one. We both knew that. I was surprised that he didn't reject me as I had feared. On the contrary, his hands roamed over my shoulder blades, pulled me closer to him. Then hold me in his warm embrace until I felt his ragged breath on my cheek. He needed air. I pulled back, but remained in his arms as we both enjoyed the silent night. The door was opened a bit, just enough for a moon ray to spread on the floor.

Shy girl I was, but this time I glanced at Kadaj for more than just seconds. He took my hands into his, gave me a bittersweet look, then stepped forward. I had to follow his pattern but backwards. He hastened his pace until I found myself leaning against the cold wall. I was wearing only my long, white nightgown, while he wore his black leathers, ready to leave.

"I would stay forever here," he hissed as his head leaned to my neck, "but duty calls. I'll return as soon as the mission is over. You know that."

I couldn't help locking my hands into his silver hair, falling until his shoulders. Since the day I met him, the day my heart began beating madly inside my chest, I had fallen in love with those silks. I brushed them behind his ears as his kisses on my neck became more strained. My lover's hands were all over my body so I couldn't move. But neither I wanted to. His lips slid all the way up to mine to continue what they had started. We kissed innocently, like the children we both still were. And as I moved a hand to caress the hair strands that covered his right eye, I felt his cheek moist. I gasped in awe, but before I could say anything, his head fell on my shoulder. Trembling. Shivering. I cupped the right side of his face and then I heard the most heart-breaking sound ever: Kadaj. Crying. His face hid in my neck, but he squeezed my hand with his – a motion that meant: 'Leave it there.'

I didn't move. Neither did Kadaj. The moon rays glistened on the two of us so melancholy, so… romantic. But that feeling was soon to fade away into the deep of the night… for Kadaj had to leave.

"I love you, Lisa. It's killing me to do this."

My breath stopped, but my heartbeat quickened.

"Don't you think I would stay with you until the end of all? That's all I dream of. Every night."

I smiled sadly, encircling his neck with my hands as he raised his head. Now I could see the tears clearly. So small. So bitter, lingering on his long eye lashes.

"Oh, please don't cry, Kadaj!" I murmured, "Just your leaving will darken my soul. But seeing you like this…"

I ran a finger on his lips and he kissed it. I embraced him with all my love, which I confessed to him then:

"You will miss me, my beautiful Kadaj. But I'll wait for you. I won't go anywhere, but lie here, until I hear you close the door behind you."

I shook my head, beckoning to the small bed in the living room. He smiled and a tear fell on his lips.

"Want to know why, Kadaj?"

My voice began to tremble. I had never spoken like that before! So spiritually, so touching…

"Because I love you."

Not waiting for an answer, I threw my arms around him and united my lips with his once again. It was all I could do: make the most of the time I had left with him – the boy I loved. Kadaj was a bit surprised to hear we both felt the same thing for each other. He smiled, though, settling me into his protective arms. Nothing could have hurt me as long as they lingered there. I was able to face anything if Kadaj was beside me, his arm encircling my waist.

"I love you," I repeated once we broke the kiss, "and I'll keep telling you this until you learn it!"

What a messed up joke! Inappropriate for that painful night. But people usually make humor of their hard times.

"Believe me, I know it already because I feel the same. I will never forget." Was his reply.

His hands brushed my hair on my back. A charming look I will always remember took shape on his face.

"And when I come back I'll prove it to you. I'll show you what you are for me."

"Then you'd better hurry up." I chuckled.

My lips trailed on his jaw until they found his. I kiss them passionately for the last time that night. He blinked his tears away, looking blissfully at me.

"Like you said, lie down there. Get some sleep. When you wake up, I'll be right next to you."

Lovely. Just lovely. Oh, couldn't that happen now? Duty always has to call. To stir everything peaceful. But I nodded, giving a last touch on his cheek. My palm lingered there as he nuzzled his face against it. So softly. So eagerly to stay more… But then he turned away and opened the door. Glistening moonlight fell all over his body. My eyes were sparkling in adoration as they were locked on him – the boy I loved… A slight gasp escaped my lips. Kadaj took a first step out of the house, and I remained there, unable to stop looking at his perfection. My beautiful Kadaj…

**"You'll come back, right?"** I shouted in the cool night air.

He turned around to face me and gave me the warmest smile ever.

**"Where else could I go?"**

* * *

_**Okay, dears. Please don't accuse me. I just had the most beautiful dream ever last night and I've thought of writing it down here to share it with you. Chapter 2 coming up :)**_

**Leave a review, will you? Much love to you! **

**~Lisa **__


	2. Than Where You Are?

**Where Else Could I Go?**

**~2~**

* * *

The tender rain washed over the plain as it sang a sad parting song, one that would make me cry, no matter how hard I squeezed the pillow between my arms. I was incomplete. My other half was out there, fighting the danger to death. That was Bahamut SIN, who had suddenly returned to our lands to strike back at us. How did I let that happen? My sweet, silver haired angel…!

The rhythmic beat of the rain on the windows was keeping me awake. My eyes were fluttering from time to time when I would hear thunders slitting the heavenly bolt above me. Fighting on a weather like this had tiny chances to bring you victory, but I had to keep my spirits up for him. I trusted him more than I trusted myself.

Slowly, I tried to close my eyes and settled the pillow in a more comfortable position under my head. The bed felt cold without Kadaj to warm me up. Next to me, his place was empty and I couldn't remember how many times I had been staring at it. His pillow had no folds. Neither had the sheets where he would lie. I sighed as I pulled the blanket above my lips. 'I sure hope you come back. I would be nothing without you, my love.'

After a while, my eyelids touched and everything turned black. Lonely as I was, I couldn't dream of anything…

Had much time passed? It was definitely past midnight. The storm could still be heard outside the house and I was slowly drifting off to sleep. All of a sudden, there was a loud rumble at the door as if something had slammed onto it. I jumped out of the bed with a gasp of fear and stood in the middle of the room. I listened carefully and heard the latch of the door being forced quickly. But I locked the door after Kadaj had left, therefore nobody could have entered. Then my heart leaped to my throat.

I raced through the chamber and with shivering hands I turned the key into the latch. A strong breath of wind flew inside. It almost made me lose my balance and my hands outstretched involuntarily as to catch the collapsing boy in front of me. I let out a scream, for I felt him limp in my arms. Something wet covered his back, face and chest, and that was not just rain. I slammed the door shut with a hand. The other one I used to run it over his face.

"KADAJ!" I screamed from the top of my lungs.

His leathers were all cloaked in red blood and so was his beautiful hair. I could barely recognize him. However, it was not the end. He looked peacefully at me, giving me a slight, tired smile as he leaned against me.

"Please, please tell me you'll be alright!" I whispered at his ear.

"I-I'm back… I kept my promise." he hissed.

His head fell on my shoulder.

"But you're hurt," I tried to muffle my sobs, "I knew it would come to this! Oh, Kadaj!"

I quickly lead him in the living room and turned on all the lights. He sat on the bed barely breathing. I kneeled in front of him:

"Look at you. How did this happen?"

"Bahamut won't disturb Midgar again," he made an attempt to smile, "we put him in his place…"

"And these mean nothing to you?!" I asked him startled as I pointed to the cuts on his neck.

"Oh, I'll be fine. I'm home now."

Kadaj always tried to make things easier for me. But I didn't want him to hide his pain from me. I had to help him.

"You can't stay like this. Here, let me clean you up."

I ran my finger on his face. Then my hand moved lower and I began to remove his leathers. They were already torn. Kadaj just watched me innocently, uttering a soft 'I'm sorry for this.' I looked at him with more optimism, mimicking a 'It's alright, but please don't ever scare me like this!'

Soon enough I got the bandages ready and gave Kadaj some medicine. I was rushing from one room to the other to bring him what he needed. I had never seen Kadaj hurt like that. I only hoped I wouldn't lose him. The blood kept oozing from his battle wounds and he seemed to have some breathing troubles… The bandages wouldn't have been enough to clean all that blood, so I carefully removed what was left of his leathers, leaving his perfect chest exposed, but terribly injured. Lowering myself to his ear, I whispered to him:

"Come upstairs. I'll run you a shower."

He froze at my words but then smiled. Encircling his waist with an arm, I helped him up and stepped forward slowly, so that he could keep up. His legs were hurt too, for he moved drudgingly.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of you." I tightened my grip on his waist and started to climb the stairs.

My hands locked into Kadaj's hair as the water washed down on us. His wounds were eventually healed. I touched the merely visible scars on his neck, pressing myself on his warm body. His lips kissed my forehead. We looked deeply into each other's eyes, gloating over each other. The steaming water caused Kadaj's hair to stick to the sides of his face. I began to slowly brush it and smiled, for it was as soft as always. Everything at him was perfect… The way his eyes shone down on me, so melancholy, full with admiration. His raising lips, so pleasant to touch, so tender and innocent. More and more water fell in cascades on us, beating soundly at our feet. I had the impression I was about to faint there, in his warm embrace and collapse on his chest. But the same pair of velvet lips lingered on my neck, waking me up from that dream…

"Kadaj," I sighed, "are you alright now, my dearly beloved?"

He leaned down at my ear to whisper:

"Never have I been better, Lisa."

Without warning, my hands began to play with his hair. Now wet, it stretched even more and fell straight to his shoulders. His beautiful silver hair!

"Kiss me." I hissed as I held harder on his neck.

He raised an eyebrow then smiled. Tangling his mild fingers in my black hair, he pulled my lips closer to his and in the next moment I felt my heart soaring, beating madly. Kadaj was kissing me. Willingly. Passionately. More and more steam covered the two of us, separating us from the real world. Now we were both somewhere in the clouds – pink clouds of love, floating in bliss. I was about to melt into his hot kiss and thank God his hands were holding my back, for otherwise I would have lost my balance any minute. His lips trailed one last time over mine. So sweet. So romantic. Then he softly pinned me against the wall and I gasped as my back felt the coldness. But suddenly, the feeling was gone, for Kadaj's hands were all over my body, patting, stroking. His lips were still locked with mine in a long, desperate kiss and I couldn't help but moan into his mouth as warm water fell on us.

"I love you." he murmured, breaking the kiss just for some seconds.

"_Kuerta-shio_." I breathed on his cheek.

He smiled at the fact I used a Japanese answer which meant "of course". Playfully rubbing his nose against mine, he asked:

"Since when do you take Japanese lessons?"

"I don't. But I've learnt some words, _ai_."

"You're so cute when you say that to me." Kadaj softened his voice.

I smiled at him, slightly biting my lower lip.

"Let me try something, will you?" he grinned before cupping my lip with his.

And then he squeezed it between his pair of velvet, scarlet lips. Furthermore, he bit slowly but with desire. I didn't stop him. On the contrary, I pulled him closer to me so that the contact would be more intense for the both of us. He bit and sucked, sucked and bit on my lip with his eyes closed, his long eyelashes fluttering seductively. My eyes were half open and that view of him so close to me made me shudder. I had never been touched like that. Nobody had ever been so tender to me. When my lover released me from the embrace of his lips, I suddenly felt empty, cold.

"Kadaj… I love you so much." I confessed to him, with shining eyes of admiration.

"_Kuerta-shio_." he purred.

A dreamy look formed on my face. I did want Kadaj. And I was certain he wanted me too. He was lovingly looking at me, waiting for a possibly reply. The falling water was as warm and pleasant as from the beginning. Perhaps that was the best shower I had had with Kadaj until then. Anyway, we hadn't had that many… I embraced him and kissed his neck, my lips brushing over it with great care. I knew that would turn him on.

"More, more, Lisa. Don't stop now." he sighed.

I was right.

Tilting my head, I let my lips cover his collarbone and began to suck on it. The small water drops falling down his perfect chest were making me want him more than ever. I slightly stroked some scars on it, to see if they hurt Kadaj anymore and when I looked up at him, he just shook his head as a 'It's alright now.' As he did, his hair flew from left to right, water dripping from it. I blinked innocently under his chin, adoring that sight and smiled.

"Oh, Kadaj."

He slowly kissed my forehead.

"Go on."

* * *

_**I'm a sly fox to stop the chapter at this point, aren't I? [laugh here]**_

_**Just so you know: "kuerta-shio" = "of course" and "**__**ai = love" in Japanese :D**___

**~Well, you can all picture how Chapter 3 will begin.**

**Review but keep this in mind: KADAJ IS MINE! [Kadaj fangirl laugh]**


End file.
